Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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