Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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