i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
