after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize