You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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