Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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