I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
