She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you had me at cake vodka
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
