That's intense
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
