Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
