You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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