So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
