Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
