worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this just has baby written all over it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
