Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
