oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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