We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
