If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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