that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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