this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
