I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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