He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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