I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
