dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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