What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize