Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
