I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
