Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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