Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
