final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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