Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
