he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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