When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh god it's open bar.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
