Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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