when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
