i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
