Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize