There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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