Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize