Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well you can't waste a boner
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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