Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's blow job season.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
