Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
