just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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