fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
