Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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