Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
