Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
