I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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