Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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