if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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