Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
