Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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