sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.