WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.