You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you