my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
