so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize