No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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