Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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