I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
