Your dad touched me again.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
