my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
