I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
