It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize