woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
A+ Viking dick
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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