Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
