Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
