She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently you make a good broom.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
