A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
