Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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